I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
