so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
