It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
