Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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