Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
