That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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