we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
