Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
