So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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