"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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