we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
