I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
