I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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