I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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