I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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