Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
