this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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