If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He did a backflip because drugs
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
