do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
