But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
