can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
