It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
