So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
