he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
