Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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