I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
