i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
