oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Two words: blizzard sex
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
