The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
