STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
