Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
