I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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