90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
