Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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