Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
