There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
