i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
