If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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