I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
ok first of all what the fuck
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
