Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
