I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
