I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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