it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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