My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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