Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
