You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
