I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He did a backflip because drugs
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