Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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