Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
