I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
what day is it and did you see me today?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
