Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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